Bandages on Bum

Ole staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking
buddy, Swen. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Lena. He
tiptoed quietly toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom,
but misjudged the bottom step. As he caught himself by grabbing the
banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on his rump. A
whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and made the landing
especially painful. Managing not to yell, Ole sprung up, pulled down
his pants, and looked in the hall mirror to see that his butt cheeks
were cut and bleeding. He managed to quietly find a full box of
Band-Aids and began putting a Band-Aid as best he could on each place
he saw blood. He then hid the now almost empty box and shuffled and
stumbled his way to bed. In the morning, Ole woke up with searing
pain in his head and butt and Lena staring at him from across the
room. She said, "You were drunk again last night, weren't you Ole?"
Ole said, "Why you say such a mean ting?" "Well," Lena said, "it
could be the open front door, it could be the broken glass at the
bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops of blood trailing through
the house, it could be your bloodshot eyes, but mostly it's all those
Band-Aids stuck on the downstairs mirror."