Battle of Engineers and others

Battle of the Engineers 

Three engineers were in the bathroom standing at the urinals. The first engineer finished and walked over to the sink to wash his hands. He then proceeded to dry his hands very carefully. He used paper towel after paper towel and ensured that every single spot of water on his hands was dried. Turning to the other two engineers, he said, "At Hewlett Packard, we are trained to be extremely thorough."

The second engineer finished his task at the urinal and he proceeded to wash his hands. He used a single paper towel and made sure that he dried his hands using every available portion of the paper towel. He turned and said, "At Lockheed-Martin, not only are we trained to be extremely thorough, but we are also trained to be extremely efficient."

The third engineer finished and walked straight for the door, shouting over his shoulder, "At Apple Computer, Inc. we don't pee on our hands."


To be fool oneself

Bill Gates died and appeared before God at the pearly gates. Well, Bill," said God, "I'm really confused on this one. I'm not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you enormously helped society by putting a computer in almost every home in the world, and Yet you created that ghastly Windows operating system.

I'm going to do something I've never done before. I'm going to let you decide where you want to go."

Bill replied, "Well thanks, God. What's the difference between the two?"

God said, "You take a peek at both places briefly it will help you decide. Shall we look at Hell first?"

"Sure" said Bill, "Let's go!"

Bill was amazed! He saw a clean, white sandy beach with clear waters. There were thousands of beautiful men and women running around, playing in the water, laughing and frolicking about. The sun was shining and the temperature was perfect.

"This is great!" said Bill. "If this is Hell, I can't wait to see heaven."

God replied, "Let's go!" and so off they went to Heaven.

Bill saw puffy white clouds in a beautiful blue sky with angels drifting about playing harps and singing. It was nice, but surely not as enticing as Hell.

Bill Gates thought for only a brief moment and rendered his decision. "God, I do believe I would like to go to Hell."

"As you desire," said God.

Two weeks later, God decided to check up on the late billionaire to see how things were going. He found Bill Gates shackled to a wall, screaming amongst the hot flames in a dark cave. He was being burned and tortured by demons.

"How ya doin', Bill?" asked God.

Bill responded with anguish and despair, "This is awful! This is not what I expected at all! What happened to the beach and the beautiful women playing in the water?"

"Oh THAT!" said God. "That was the screen-saver".


Technical knowledge helps

Not only our technical knowledge helps, but also the presence of mind and the right answer at right time. Even if u don't know the answer for a question just confuse the questioner!!!!

Questions and the Answers given by Candidates, oh sorry they are IAS Officers now.



1Q. How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?
A. Concrete floors are very hard to crack! (UPSC Topper)

2Q. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it?
A. No time at all it is already built. (UPSC 23 Rank Opted for IFS)

3Q. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in the other hand, what would you have?
A. Very large hands. (Good one) (UPSC 11 Rank Opted for IPS)

4Q. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
A. It is not a problem, since you will never find an elephant with one hand. (UPSC Rank 14 Opted for IES)

5Q. How can a man go eight days without sleep?
A. No Problem, He sleeps at night. (UPSC IAS Rank 98)

6Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?
A. It will get Wet or Sink as simple as that. (UPSC IAS Rank 2)

7Q. What looks like half apple?
A: The other half. (UPSC - IAS Topper)

8Q. What can you never eat for breakfast?
A: Dinner.

9Q. What happened when wheel was invented?
A: It caused a revolution.

10Q. Bay of Bengal is in which state?
A: Liquid (UPSC 33Rank)

11. Interviewer said "I shall either ask you ten easy questions or one really difficult question. Think well before you make up your mind!" The boy thought for a while and said, "My choice is one really difficult question."

"Well, good luck to you, you have made your own choice! Now tell me this. "What comes first, Day or Night?"

The boy was jolted into reality as his admission depends on the correctness of his answer, but he thought for a while and said, "It's the DAY sir!"

"How" the interviewer asked, "Sorry sir, you promised me that you will not ask me a SECOND difficult question!"