Humour in Indian English

Tamil Nadu, India , well Known Personality,Mr Jeppier,Chairman of Self financing Engineering Colleges Association ,who is always speaking in English ... Sathyabama college Students have  Collected & published the Book on Jappier's Spoken English ... Njoy ...........with his..............English..............  Sounds fictitious...although highly likely


 Now, here are some classic English sentences from the great Mr. Jeppiar.


 The stalwart talks to his students:


 # At the ground:  -----------------  All of you stand in a straight circle.  There is no wind in the balloon.  The girl with the mirror please comes her...{Means: girl with specs please come here).


 # To a boy, angrily:  ---------------------  I talk, he talk, why you middle middle talk?


 # While punishing students:  -----------------------  You, rotate the ground four times...  You, go and understand the tree...  You three of you stand together separately.  Why are y ou late - say YES or NO .....(?)


 # Sir at his best:  ---------------  Sir had once gone to a film with his wife. By chance, he happened to see one of our boys at the theatre, though the boy did no t see them.  So the next day at s school... (to that boy) - "Yesterday I saw you  WITH MY WIFE at the Cinema Theatre"



 # Sir at his best inside the Class room:  ----------------------------------------------  Open the doors of the window. Let the atmosphere come in.  Open the doors of the window. Let the Air Force come in.  Cut an apple into two halves - I will take the bigger half.  Shhh...Quiet, boys...the principal JUST PASSED AWAY in the corridor  You, meet me behind the class. (Meaning AFTER the class..)  "Both of u three get out of the class."  Close the doors of the windows please. I have winter in my nose today...  Take Copper Wire of any metal especially of Silver.....  Take 5 cm wire of any length....



 Last but not the least some Jeppi ar experiences ...  -----------------------------------------------------------------  Once Sir had come late to a college function, by the time he reached, the function had begun, so he went to the dais, and said, sorry I am late, because on the way my car hit 2 muttons (Meaning goats).


 At Sathyabama college day 2002:  ----------------------------------------------  "This college strict u the worry no .... U get good marks, I the happy, tomorrow u get good job, jpr the happy, tomorrow u marry I the enjoy"


 At St. Josephs fresh years day 2003:  ----------------------------------------------  "No ragging this college. Anybody rag we arrest the police"