SPREAD THE WORD

 

Every 14th of February you get the chance to display your fondness for your wife or girlfriend by showering her with gifts, flowers, dinner, shows and any other baubles that women find romantic.

Secret...guys feel left out. That's right...left out. There's no special holiday for the ladies to show their appreciation for the men in their life. Men as a whole are either too proud or just too embarrassed to admit it. Which is why a new holiday has been created.

March 20th is now officially "Steak & Blowjob Day."

Simple, effective and self-explanatory...this holiday has been created so your ladies can have a day to show your man just how much you love him. No cards, no flowers, no special nights on the town-the name of the holiday explains it all...just a steak and a BJ. That's it. This twin pairing of Valentine's Day and Steak & BJ Day will usher in a new age of love as men everywhere will try THAT much harder in February to ensure a more memorable March! It's like a perpetual love machine.

The word is already spreading, but as with any new idea, it needs a little push to start the ball rolling. So spread the word, and help bring love and peace to this crazy world.

I don't know how well this is gonna catch on. Hallmark doesn't have anything to promote this holiday. We'll have to get some steak houses interested in promoting this new holiday.

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FBI is hiring

The FBI had  an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews, and  testing were done there were 3 finalists. Two men and a woman.

For the  final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed  him a gun.

"We must know that  you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances. Inside the  room you will find your wife sitting in a chair.

Kill Her!

The man  said, "You can't be serious, I could never shoot my wife." The agent said, "Then  you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home."

The second  man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All  was quiet for about 5 minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, "I  tried, but I can't kill my wife."

The agent  said, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."

Finally, it was the woman's turn. She  was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went  into the room. Shots were heard, one after another. They heard screaming,  crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door  opened slowly and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her  brow.

"This gun is  loaded with blanks" she said. "I had to beat him to death with the  chair."