One year at Christmas my mom went to my sister's house for the traditional feast. Knowing how gullible my sister is, my mom decided to play a trick. She told my sister that she needed something from the store.

When my sister left, my mom took the turkey out of the oven, removed the stuffing, stuffed a Cornish hen, and inserted it into the turkey, and re-stuffed the turkey. She then placed the bird(s) back in the oven. When it was time for dinner, my sister pulled the turkey out of the oven and proceeded to remove the stuffing. When her serving spoon hit something; she reached in and pulled out the little bird.

With a look of total shock on her face, my mother exclaimed, "Patricia, you've cooked a pregnant bird!" At the reality of this horrifying news, my sister started to cry. It took the family two hours to convince her that turkeys lay eggs.

**********************************

In California's Sonoma Valley, where vineyards cater to wine snobbery, a woman phoned the classified ad department of a newspaper. She offered for sale what sounded like "well-aged Caumeneur."

The ad-taker was unfamiliar with that particular wine, but was used to the infusion of French words into the local vocabulary.

"Could you please spell that?" she asked.

"You know," said the woman impatiently, "C-o-w M-a-n-u-r-e."

***********************************
There was an earthquake at the Christian Brothers' monastery and

it was leveled. All fifty brothers were transported to heaven at the one time.

At the Pearly Gates, St Peter said, "Let's go through the entry test as a group. Now, first question. How many of you have played around with little boys?"

Forty-nine hands went up.

"Right!" said St Peter. "You forty-nine can go down to Purgatory. Oh, and take that deaf b***** with you."

***********************************

Tower: "Eastern 702, cleared for takeoff, contact departure on 124.7."

Eastern 702: "Tower, Eastern 702 switching to departure ... by the way, after we lifted off, we saw some kind of dead animal on the far end of the runway."

Tower: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff. Contact departure on 124.7; did you copy the report from Eastern?"

Continental 635: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff, roger; and yes, we copied Eastern. We've already notified our caterers."