God summoned Castro, Chirac and Bush before him. He told them that they were ruining his precious Earth with all their pollutants, industrial fishing, logging etc. He told them to clean up their act or he would make the whole mankind shovel shit from one hole to another for eternity. Go! tell your people.

So Castro goes back to his people and tells them "I have 2 things to tell you, both of them bad. One, God exists and Two, if we don't clean up the planet we will have to shovel shit from one hole to another for eternity."

Chirac goes back to his people and tells them "I have 2 things to tell you, one good and one bad. One, God exists and Two, if we don't clean up the planet mankind will have to shovel shit from one hole to another for eternity."

Bush goes back to his people and tells them "I have 2 things to tell you, both of them good. One, God exists and Two, There'll soon be enough work for everyone!"

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The Center for Disease Control has issued a warning about a new virulent strain of Sexually Transmitted Disease. This disease is contracted through dangerous and high risk behavior. The disease is called Gonorrhea Lectim (pronounced "gonna re-elect him.") Many victims contracted it in 2004, after having been screwed for the past 4 years, in spite of having taken measures to protect themselves from this especially troublesome disease.

Cognitive sequelae of individuals infected with Gonorrhea Lectim include, but are not limited to:

Anti-social personality disorder traits;

Delusions of grandeur with a distinct messianic flavor;

Chronic mangling of the English language;

Exceptional cowardice masked by acts of misplaced bravado;

Uncontrolled facial smirking;

Ignorance of geography and history;

Tendencies toward creating evangelical theocracies;

And a strong propensity for categorical, all-or-nothing behavior.

The disease is sweeping Washington. Naturalists and epidemiologists are amazed and baffled that this malignant disease originated only a few years ago from a Texas Bush.

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